the smithfield muses, Little Quinisext’s most ineffectual indie band, have once again played to a packed, near-empty Relapse pub this week. The viola-backed trio’s audience were, in general, positive. Barmaid Sandrine described band leader Ned Stringey as “an all-right guy, basically”. Much Wyttring-based accountant Tom Lacksides, who attended the concert, later described the music as “all right, I suppose. I mean, if you like that sort of thing.”
Speaking to Jim Flinkey outside the newsagent, Stringey described the gig as the band’s most successful yet, saying it “didn’t go too badly, really”.
“We got through our whole set this time”, he added.
Nerdsley-educated Stringey, 19, the band’s vocalist and founder, established the group three years ago with the help of viola-player Jim Crating, and accountancy student-turned-drummer Pete Flake. The band’s website describes it as ‘the post-pop indie-punk phenomenon of the decade’.
The band’s debut single, So Farewell Then, EJ Thribb is not expected out in the next few decades.
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inspector clap of the West Scurvy Police has turned once more to writing on his pet subject, the archaeology of the M40. The new volume in his seven-part work, published by the Much Wyttring Conservation Trust, is entitled Wilson: The Burtley Wood Years, and charts many of the key journeys the Prime Minister who founded the highway might have taken on it, had it already been built.
Of particular interest to incompetent amateur historians everywhere is his interview with Gwyn Smethwick, who ran the renowned post office in Tyldely-By-Lizard where Wilson famously nearly got out to buy stamps but didn’t. Col. Blight, chairman of the Much Wyttring Conservation Trust, described the work as “covering essential ground in dismantling the Conservative myth of the failure of the Wilson government”.
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fr. thaddeus, the enthusiastically pastoral parish priest of St John the Apostate, Little Quinisext, once again faces ‘a period of reconciliation and healing’ with parishioners this week, following another innovative, forward-looking Palm Sunday liturgy.
Parishioners were said to be “disappointed” by the new liturgy, composed especially for the occasion by the renowned local composer and liturgist, Reg Monteverdi. Amongst the least successful elements according to the Parish's Non-Executive Pastoral Review Council Liturgical Subcommittee, The Introit, entitled Hit Me With Your Hyssop Stick, was damningly voted a rating of “pastoral”. Worse, 82% of parishioners, however, are said to have found the use of a water-pistol at the start of the Mass “unpastoral”. Marjorem K. Kalypso, chair of the Liturgical Subcommittee, said that the liturgy was “not satisfactory”.
Ms. Kalypso said: “It is the considered opinion of the Non-Executive Pastoral Review Council Liturgical Subcommittee that the limited accompaniment for the liturgical music, consisting of a drum-kit and only two trombones, was deeply unsatisfactory, and gave little room for active participation. We are most disappointed by Mr. Monteverdi’s setting, particularly in light of his previous, exemplary work in pastorally sensitive, liturgically charismatic music up until now.”
Fr. Thaddeus was unavailable for comment.
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