Drasty rym dogerel, 01/06/2011

Sir [Name Redacted]'s Song

When I was a lad I served a term,

As [redacted] to an attorney's firm,

I, er, did this'n'that while distracted,

And I polished up the knockers of the [redacted].

I polished those knockers so quietlee

That now I am a personage Parli'mentary.

CHORUS: He polished up those knockers so quietlee,

That now he is a personage Parli'mentary.

As [redacted] I made such a mark,

That they gave me a post on which I can't remark,

I served the writs for a case I can't name,

And I copied certain letters on a person of Fame.

I copied all the letters so obscurely,

That now I am a personage Parli'mentary.

CHORUS: He copied all those letters so obscurely,

That now he is a personage Parli'mentary.

In serving writs I made such a name,

That a [redacted] I soon became;

I wore clean collars and a brand new tie,

For the [redacted occurrence] at a place in Ely;

And that [redacted occurrence] did so well for me,

That now I am a personage Parli'mentary.

CHORUS: That [redacted occurrence] did so well for he,

That now he is a personage Parli'mentary.

Of legal knowledge I acquired such a grip,

That all other libel lawyers I did soon outstrip;

And that [redacted employer] was, I ween,

The only [redacted] I ever had seen.

But that kind of thing so suited me,

That now I am a personage Parli'mentary.

CHORUS: And that kind of thing so suited he,

That now he is a personage Parli'mentary.

I grew so rich that I was sent

By an overwhelming safe-seat into Parli'ment.

I always voted at my party's call,

And I stuffed my pockets 'till they were absurdly full.

I did so little good, they rewarded me,

By making me the ruler of [redacted entity]!

CHORUS: He did so little good, they rewarded he,

By making him the ruler of [redacted entity]!

Now, sinners, all, wherever you may be,

If you want your peccadilloes in obscurity,

If your soul isn't fettered by an honest rule,

Be careful to be guided by this golden rule –

Stick close to your cash and give your lawyer's fee,

And you all may be like [redacted personality]!

CHORUS: Stick close to your cash and give your lawyer's fee,

And you all may be like [redacted personality]!